iii Copyright 2020 Marline E. Pearson Lesson 1: Relationships Today..................................1 • Relationships Today • Defining a Vision • Choosing Reds or Greens? • Trusted Adult Connection Lesson 2: Knowing Yourself....................................17 • Good Relationships Start with You • Understanding My Personality Style • Examining Family of Origin Lesson 3: My Expectations—My Future................33 • What’s Important? • The Power of Expectations Lesson 4: Attractions and Starting Relationships...47 • Relationship Pyramid • The Chemistry of Attraction Lesson 5: Principles of Smart Relationships........63 • Smart or Not-So-Smart? • Seven Principles of Smart Relationships • Seven Questions to Ask • Three Sides of Love Lesson 6: Is It a Healthy Relationship?. ................79 • How Can You Tell? • Breaking Up Lesson 7: Dangerous Love. ......................................91 • Early Warnings and Red Flags • Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs of Greatest Danger • Dangerous Love: Impact on Children • Draw the Line of Respect • Sexual Assault Lesson 8: Decide, Don’t Slide! The Low-Risk Approach to Relationships. .........................109 • The High Costs of Sliding • The Low-Risk Deciding Approach • Making Decisions • The Success Sequence Lesson 9: What’s Communication Got to Do With It?......................................................131 • What’s Communication Got to Do with It? • Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs • The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking Is Difficult • Communication Patterns Learned in Family Lesson 10: Communication Challenges and More Skills ....................................................149 • Complain and Raise Issues Effectively • Hidden Issues: What Pushes Your Button? • A Problem-Solving Model • Constantly Connected—For Better and Worse Lesson 11: Let’s Talk About Sex............................169 • Let’s Talk About Sex… and Sliding • The Six Parts of Intimacy • Emotional Risks and Emotional Benefits • Are We on the Same Page? • Am I Ready? • Drawing Intimacy Lines and Pacing Relationships Lesson 12: Let’s Plan for Choices. ........................195 • Test Your Sex Smarts • STIs and HIV Are for Real • My Personal Plan • A Discussion: Internet Porn Lesson 13: Through the Eyes of a Child .............213 • Child Looking for a Family • What about Fathers? • Father Absence, Relationship Troubles • Child Speak: Brighter Futures • Planning for Success—Wrap-Up Appendix ....................................................................233 • Middle School Adaptation Guidance Table of Contents