i Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Introduction to Love Notes........................................... iii Instructor Tips...............................................................xi Love Notes Video and Resource Guide.........................xv Lesson 1: Relationships Today .................................1 • Relationships Today • Defining a Vision • Choosing Reds or Greens? • Introduction to the Trusted Adult Connection Activities Lesson 2: Knowing Yourself ...................................
Review 23 • Good Relationships Start with You • Understanding My Personality Style • Examining Family Origin Lesson 3: My Expectations—My Future ...............43 • What’s Important? • The Power of Expectations Lesson 4: Attractions and Starting Relationships ..57 • Relationship Pyramid • The Chemistry of Attraction Lesson 5: Principles of Smart Relationships .......83 • Smart or Not-So-Smart? • Seven Principles of Smart Relationships • Seven Questions to Ask • Three Sides of Love Lesson 6: Is It a Healthy Relationship? ..............113 • How Can You Tell? • Having Fun—It’s Important! • Breaking Up Lesson 7: Dangerous Love ....................................133 • Early Warnings and Red Flags • Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs of Greatest Danger • Sexual Assault and Consent • Sex Trafficking—Prevention • Draw the Line of Respect Lesson 8: Decide, Don’t Slide! Pathways & Sequences Towards Success ...............167 • The High Costs of Sliding • A Low-Risk Deciding Approach • Making Decisions • Pathways and Sequences Towards Success Lesson 9: Communication and Healthy Relationships ........................................203 • Communication Patterns Learned in Family • Patterns that Harm Relationships • Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs • The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking is Difficult • Relationships in the Digital Age Lesson 10: Communication Challenges and More Skills ..................................237 • Complain and Raise Issues Effectively • Hidden Issues: What Pushes Your Button? • A Problem-Solving Model • A Brief Review • Constantly Connected—For Better or Worse Lesson 11: Let’s Talk About Sex ...........................273 • Let’s Talk About Sex • What is Intimacy, Actually? • Am I Ready? • Risks of Sliding into Sex—Benefits of Deciding • Navigating Relationships in the Digital Age • Are We on the Same Page? • Setting Your Line Lesson 12: Let’s Plan for Choices .......................319 • Test Your Sex Smarts • STIs and HIV Are for Real • Planning for Choices • A Discussion: Internet Porn • Pressure Situations &Assertiveness Skills Lesson 13: Through the Eyes of a Child ............375 • Child Looking for a Family • What About Fathers? • Child Speak: Bright Futures • Decisions About Living Together • Planning for Success—Wrap-Up Appendix....................................................................437 • Supplemental Activities: Designing a Personal Policy Cyberbullying • Background &Research on Screen Time • Film Guide for Antwone Fisher • Acknowledgements • About the Author • Colored Activity Cards Table of Contents Copy
iii Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Introduction L ove Notes builds skills and knowledge for healthy and successful relationships with partners, family, friends, and co-workers. It is designed to empower young people by developing their skills and confidence for making wise choices for their relationships and intimate lives—ones that will assist them in achieving their education, employment, relationship, and family goals. This program may be especially helpful for teens and young adults who are at risk for poor quality relationships, unplanned pregnancies, and for those who are expecting or parenting.
Copy That said, all of the content of Love Notes is relevant to any young person. The communication skills and self-awareness components of Love Notes are key to all kinds of relationships in life.
Review For example, these soft skills increase successful and cooperative interactions in school or in the workplace. Employers report that soft skills are vital for the success of young people entering the workforce. Love Notes also represents an innovative approach to STIs, pregnancy, and intimate partner violence prevention within the context of a positive youth development approach. These goals, typically addressed in separate programs, are integrated and embedded into one comprehensive healthy relationship skills program. This comprehensive approach was selected by the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for a 5-year evaluation. Love Notes was put on the HHS Office of Adolescent Health’s (OAH) list of Evidence-Based Teen Pregnancy Prevention Programs. In this federally funded, 5-year random control trial conducted by researchers at the University of Louisville, those participating in Love Notes were 46% less likely to have a pregnancy as compared to those in the control group. It also achieved four other outcomes: a greater number who remained abstinent, less recent sexual activity, less frequency of sexual activity, and for those who choose to be sexually active increased use of contraception and condoms. These outcomes are impressive, especially so since the target audience for the study was vulnerable teens.
