i Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Introduction to Love Notes. .......................................... iii Instructor Tips. ..............................................................xi Love Notes Video and Resource Guide. ........................xv Lesson 1: Relationships Today..................................1 • Relationships Today • Defining a Vision • Choosing Reds or Greens? • Introduction to the Trusted Adult Connection Activities Lesson 2: Knowing Yourself....................................23 • Good Relationships Start with You • Understanding My Personality Style • Examining Family Origin Lesson 3: My Expectations—My Future................43 • What’s Important? • The Power of Expectations Lesson 4: Attractions and Starting Relationships...57 • Relationship Pyramid • The Chemistry of Attraction Lesson 5: Principles of Smart Relationships........83 • Smart or Not-So-Smart? • Seven Principles of Smart Relationships • Seven Questions to Ask • Three Sides of Love Lesson 6: Is It a Healthy Relationship?. .............. 113 • How Can You Tell? • Having Fun—It’s Important! • Breaking Up Lesson 7: Dangerous Love. ....................................133 • Early Warnings and Red Flags • Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs of Greatest Danger • Sexual Assault and Consent • Sex Trafficking—Prevention • Draw the Line of Respect Lesson8:Decide,Don’tSlide!Pathways&Sequences Towards Success....................................167 • The High Costs of Sliding • A Low-Risk Deciding Approach • Making Decisions • Pathways and Sequences Towards Success Lesson 9: Communication and Healthy Relationships. ........................................201 • Communication Patterns Learned in Family • Patterns that Harm Relationships • Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs • The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking is Difficult • Relationships in the Digital Age Lesson 10: Communication Challenges and More Skills . ..................................235 • Complain and Raise Issues Effectively • Hidden Issues: What Pushes Your Button? • A Problem-Solving Model • A Brief Review • Constantly Connected—For Better or Worse Lesson 11: Let’s Talk About Sex............................271 • Let’s Talk About Sex • What is Intimacy, Actually? • Am I Ready? • Risks of Sliding into Sex—Benefits of Deciding • Navigating Relationships in the Digital Age • Are We on the Same Page? • Drawing Intimacy Lines and Pacing Lesson 12: Let’s Plan for Choices .........................317 • Test Your Sex Smarts • STIs and HIV Are for Real • Planning for Choices • A Discussion: Internet Porn • Pressure Situations & Assertiveness Skills Lesson 13: Through the Eyes of a Child .............375 • Child Looking for a Family • What About Fathers? • Child Speak: Bright Futures • Decisions About Living Together • Planning for Success—Wrap-Up Appendix.....................................................................437 • Supplemental Activities: Designing a Personal Policy Cyberbullying • Background & Research on Screen Time • Film Guide for Antwone Fisher • Acknowledgements • About the Author • Colored Activity Cards Table of Contents