Copyright 2018 Marline E. Pearson Putting it all together: Point out that when partners have taken the time to grow more connected on these levels—physical, verbal, emotional, social, spiritual, and commitment—they are developing true intimacy. The following quote can be read aloud to convey this point: (PP) “Real intimacy takes time. It involves tender feelings and physical affection, but also much more. It involves respect for each other even though you recognize neither is perfect. It involves aspects of honesty, trust, and admiration that last over a long period. It involves talking seriously about your values and ideals and sharing your goals. It means both partners give of themselves generously. It means supporting each other emotionally and not doing something purposely that will hurt the other person’s feelings. And it means one partner doesn’t pressure the other to do something for which he or she is not ready. It means both partners want to say ‘I love you and when they do, they mean it. All of these things take time to develop. This is the kind of intimacy that is found in a healthy marriage.” Pass out colored markers to use with the Chart a Relationship worksheet (Resource 10a, pg. 204). Announce that you are going to read a short description of a relationship between Ben and Jessie. As participants are listening to the story, instruct them to think about how connected the couple is (i.e., together—on the same page) on each of the six kinds of connections. Point out that Ben and Jessie have a boy/girl relationship, but their situation can apply to a couple of any identity or orientation. Ask teens to place on “X” somewhere between 0% (signifying “no connection”) to 100% (signifying “very strongly connected and on the same page”). Pause after you read each category for the group to mark the degree of connectedness on their sheets. (PP) Alternately, you can add movement to this activity by asking teens to stand up along a wall where you have taped up 3 sheets of paper—one marked 0%, another 50% and the third 100%. After reading each intimacy dimension, ask teens to move to a place along the wall between 0% and 100%. Physical: Ben and Jessie started getting physical very soon after they met. They spend a lot of time kissing and making out at her house. Her mom is gone a lot. They’ve touched each other above the waist under the clothes and have moved on to touching below the waist under their clothes. They have not had sexual intercourse yet, but are very close to it. Place an “X” somewhere between 0% and 100% to represent their physical connection. Or move. ACTIVITY Jessie and Ben—How Connected 194 LESSON 10
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