i Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Table of Contents Introduction to Relationship Smarts PLUS. ................ iii Instructor Tips. ........................................................... viii Lesson 1: Who Am I and Where Am I Going?.......1 • Possible Selves Tree • My Friends and My Future • Being Yourself: Dealing with Pressure Situations Lesson 2: Maturity and What I Value....................19 • Four Dimensions of Maturity • Maturity—Where Are You? • Clarifying Values • What’s Important to Me? Lesson 3: Attractions and Infatuation. ..................35 • Test Your Love Smarts • Relationship Pyramid • The Chemistry of Attraction Lesson 4: Principles of Smart Relationships. ......55 • Smart or Not-So-Smart? • Seven Principles of Smart Relationships • Seven Questions to Ask • Three Sides of Love Lesson 5: Is It a Healthy Relationship?.................73 • How Can You Tell? • Unmet Needs and Unhealthy Relationships • Having Fun • Tips for Teens Lesson 6: Breaking Up and Dating Violence. ......89 • Breaking Up • Early Warnings and Red Flags • Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs of Danger • Sexual Assault • Draw the Line of Respect • Sex Trafficking—Prevention Lesson 7: Decide, Don’t Slide! Pathways to Success..................................................................123 • Sliding vs. Deciding and Personal Development • Sliding vs. Deciding and Relationships • A Low-Risk Deciding Approach • Making Decisions • Pathways and Sequences Towards Success Lesson 8: Communication and Healthy Relationships.......................................................153 • Communication Patterns Learned in Family • Patterns that Harm Relationships • Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs • The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking is Difficult Lesson 9: Communication Challenges and More Skills..........................................................177 • Complain and Raise Issues Effectively • Hidden Issues Under Arguments • A Problem-Solving Model • Taking Care of Relationships • A Brief Review Lesson 10: Sexual Decision-Making....................197 • Let’s Talk About Sex • What is Intimacy, Actually? • Am I Ready? • Risks of Sliding—Benefits of Deciding • Set Your Personal Line & Getting On the Same Page Lesson 11: Pregnancy, STIs and HIV...................229 • Test Your Sex Smarts • STIs and HIV Are for Real • Alcohol and Drugs—Increasing the Risks • My Personal Plan • Pressure Situations, Refusal Skills, & Exit Strategies Lesson 12: Unintended Pregnancy Through the Eyes of a Child.............................................259 • Child Looking for a Family • What about Fathers? • Child Speak—Brighter Futures Lesson 13: Teens, Technology, and Social Media...291 • Constantly Connected—For Better and Worse • Relationships in the Digital World • Pornography—Informed Decision-Making • Cyberbullying • Designing a Personal Policy • Planning for Success About the Author........................................................335 Acknowledgements. ....................................................336 Colored Activity Cards