Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Lesson 6 126
❖ Let’s now examine some tips on breaking up because there are better and worse ways to
do it.
(PP) Offer these breakup tips to the group:
1. Talk to an adult you trust: Go over the reasons it isn’t working.
Don’t talk about it with friends that encourage drama or revenge.
And if there are any concerns about your safety and how the person
will react, ask a parent or trusted adult to assist you.
2. Pick a time and a private place and tell the person yourself: Don’t do it around their
friends. Have the respect to do it face-to-face. But don’t tell them right before a big event
like a test, a game, a cultural event where they’re performing, a birthday, or the start of the
school day. A good time is on a Friday after school or a Saturday. You will both have time to
start getting over it and talk to supportive friends and adults before school begins again. If
you are worried whatsoever about your safety, do not pick a private place. Get help from a
caring adult.
Make a clean break: Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Be honest and
direct, but not cruel. Do not give a mixed message. Say: ”I want to break up.” or “I don’t
have the same feelings anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the
person. Your feelings are your feelings.
4. Avoid cruelty: Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate.
5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm or even kill themself if you break up, you must
reach out for help for yourself and for them. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared,
or angry, but you can and should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail
to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is
why you must reach out to parents—yours and theirs, a school counselor, or another caring
adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If
there is immediate danger, call 911.
Lesson 6 126
❖ Let’s now examine some tips on breaking up because there are better and worse ways to
do it.
(PP) Offer these breakup tips to the group:
1. Talk to an adult you trust: Go over the reasons it isn’t working.
Don’t talk about it with friends that encourage drama or revenge.
And if there are any concerns about your safety and how the person
will react, ask a parent or trusted adult to assist you.
2. Pick a time and a private place and tell the person yourself: Don’t do it around their
friends. Have the respect to do it face-to-face. But don’t tell them right before a big event
like a test, a game, a cultural event where they’re performing, a birthday, or the start of the
school day. A good time is on a Friday after school or a Saturday. You will both have time to
start getting over it and talk to supportive friends and adults before school begins again. If
you are worried whatsoever about your safety, do not pick a private place. Get help from a
caring adult.
Make a clean break: Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Be honest and
direct, but not cruel. Do not give a mixed message. Say: ”I want to break up.” or “I don’t
have the same feelings anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the
person. Your feelings are your feelings.
4. Avoid cruelty: Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate.
5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm or even kill themself if you break up, you must
reach out for help for yourself and for them. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared,
or angry, but you can and should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail
to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is
why you must reach out to parents—yours and theirs, a school counselor, or another caring
adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If
there is immediate danger, call 911.
