Introduction This book of activities is designed to be used with the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” deck of cards. The activities offer teachers and counselors many ways to use the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” cards to begin and sustain conversations with teens about personal and romantic relationships. The Intention of these Activities The activities presented in this book were created to help teens explore romantic relationships in a fun and engaging way. The intention behind these games is to touch on ten main topics, directly and indirectly, for the purpose of empowering teens with knowledge, experience, and strategies to help them build successful and healthy partnerships. Ten themes are supported by the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” activities: 1) Relationships are exciting. Youthful romance is fueled by a number of powerful factors curiosity, desire to experiment in the adult world, social pressure, cultural expectations, and, oh yes, raging hormones. Adolescent romantic interests are thrilling and compelling. Teens need guidance tools that are supportive and empowering during this exciting time in their lives. 2) Relationships affect people deeply. Relationships take time, energy, focus, and emotional attention. They can bring a person incredible joy, comfort, companionship, and tenderness. They can also bring frustration, annoyance, sorrow, and overwhelming distress. At its worst, emotional and physical engagement with another person can be dangerous and threatening. Because relationships are powerful things, they need to be treated with care and caution. Armed with tools, skills, and patience, people can explore with freedom and let their hearts open wide. 3) Everyone gets to choose their own relationships. Others may guide and direct, but ultimately partnership choices are up to each individual, no matter what adults, teachers, or parents might believe. Since teens get to choose, and choosing poorly can be costly, it is important that teens are taught how to choose with consciousness and intention. To do this, they will need to know many things about themselves as well as their partners. Learning about values, preferences, and deal breakers are all important in a teen’s ability to choose wisely. 4) Relationships are generally hard to exit. Because the exit can be challenging or painful, it is wise for a person not to enter a relationship until they have clarity about what they are choosing. But since teens don’t often have this kind of foresight, they are often left to learn these lessons through pain and disappointment. Adults can and should offer a means for seeing the warning signals early in the relationship development. The Things to Know Before You Say “Go” cards expose teens to the variety of issues that can cause pain so they can be on the lookout and see trouble before they get deeply in it. 5) Relationships go through stages. There is a natural progression toward commitment and intimacy as relationships develop and deepen. Often teens are in such a hurry to get into a relationship that they overlook the important exploration stages of hanging out and dating. It is helpful for teens to understand this progression and the helpful behaviors associated with each stage. 6) There is a lot to know when finding a suitable partner. Experimenting and exploring are necessary. Understanding there is a breadth of information to gather can help a person approach relationships with both curiosity and caution, not rushing in too deeply until important questions are IV • THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU SAY GO COPYRIGHT © 2011 BY ELSBETH MARTINDALE