addressed. Understanding the progression of stages toward intimacy can help teens be thoughtful as they examine each step. 7) There is value in going slow. Because there is so much to know, and getting to know the important aspects of a relationship takes time to learn, going slow is a great idea. “Go only as fast as the slowest part of you is willing to go,” is a very helpful standard. This seems to go against both the external and internal pressures teens feel about relationships. This message is a hard sell to teens, but it is well worth attempting, given the emotional costs. This message is the intention behind the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” cards. 8) Relationships change over time. Because the behaviors of people in the infatuation phase of dating are often different than when the relationship becomes more stable and familiar, it is helpful to not make big commitments until there is enough time to gather sufficient data. Helping teens see this natural tendency to “put on a good face” in the beginning of a relationship can bring a note of caution and respect for the gift of time. Teens will make wiser choices if they watch, wait, and wonder to see who a person is before they give their hearts away. 9) All relationships have negative aspects. No relationship is perfect each one comes with its own set of challenges and struggles. Each person has his or her own limits on what they are willing and unwilling to tolerate in a partner. As teens begin to explore relationships, it is helpful for them to know what their limits are so they can spot their deal breakers before they dive in too deep. 10) Teens need to develop relationship skills. Teens need strong skills in the areas of investigation and exploration. They need to know how to gather the necessary information, sift through the data, and compare what they see with what they value. Teens also need to know how to speak up for what they want. They will need to practice assertion skills so they can speak clearly and directly for their needs and wants. If they are ill equipped they may end up in an unsatisfactory situation and feel helpless to change it. Teens need to understand that a successful partnership requires having a strong and respectful relationship with themselves. Pre and Post Tests Appendix 1 offers a test that can be given before and after this curriculum is taught as a way for students and teachers to assess learning. The test invites students to reflect on the ten intentions behind this curriculum. Acknowledgments These activities were designed with the help of Tiffany McCleary, PsyD. Dr. McCleary has worked with adolescents for many years and contributed greatly to the ideas and editing of the Things to Know Before You Say “Go” activities. Gratitude goes to Nancy Lenk for her fine and joyful work in adjusting these activities for the school setting. ACTIVITY BOOK • V COPYRIGHT © 2011 BY ELSBETH MARTINDALE