iii Copyright 2018 Marline E. Pearson Introduction to Love Notes. ............................................v Instructor Tips. .............................................................xii Love Notes Video and Resource Guide. ........................xv Lesson 1: Relationships Today..................................1 • Relationships Today • Defining a Vision • Choosing Reds or Greens? • Film Opportunity Lesson 2: Knowing Yourself....................................25 • Good Relationships Start with You • Understanding My Personality Style • Examining Family Origin Lesson 3: My Expectations—My Future................47 • What’s Important? • The Power of Expectations • Myself—My Future Lesson 4: Attractions and Starting Relationships...63 • Relationship Pyramid • The Chemistry of Attraction Lesson 5: Principles of Smart Relationships........85 • Smart or Not-So-Smart? • Seven Principles of Smart Relationships • Seven Questions to Ask • Three Sides of Love Lesson 6: Is It a Healthy Relationship?. ..............107 • How Can You Tell? • Having Fun—It’s Important! • Breaking Up Lesson 7: Dangerous Love. ....................................131 • Early Warnings and Red Flags • Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs of Greatest Danger • Dangerous Love: Impact on Children • Draw the Line of Respect • Sexual Assault Lesson 8: Decide, Don’t Slide! The Low-Risk Approach to Relationships...................163 • The High Costs of Sliding • The Low-Risk Deciding Approach • Making Decisions • The Success Sequence Lesson 9: What’s Communication Got to Do With It?. ....................................189 • What’s Communication Got to Do with It? • Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs • The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking is Difficult Lesson 10: Communication Challenges and More Skills . ..................................217 • Communication Patterns Learned in Family • Complain and Raise Issues Effectively • Hidden Issues: What Pushes Your Button? • A Problem-Solving Model • A Brief Review Lesson 11: Let’s Talk About Sex............................239 • Let’s Talk About Sex… and Sliding • The Six Parts of Intimacy • Emotional Risks and Emotional Benefits • Are We on the Same Page? • Am I Ready? • Drawing Intimacy Lines and Pacing Relationships Lesson 12: Let’s Plan for Choices . .......................275 • Test Your Sex Smarts • STIs and HIV Are for Real • Risky Situations • Pressure Situations—Assertiveness Skills • My Personal Plan Lesson 13: Through the Eyes of a Child .............317 • Child Looking for a Family • What about Fathers? • Father Absence, Relationship Troubles • Child Speak: Brighter Futures • Decisions about Living Together • Planning for Success—Wrap-Up Appendix.....................................................................367 • Supplemental Appendix Lesson: Technology and Social Media • In-depth Film Guide for Antwone Fisher • About the Author • Acknowledgements • Colored Activity Cards Table of Contents