Lesson 6 124 Copyright 2018 Marline E. Pearson Pass out Tips for Parents (Resource 6f, pg. 129). The Basics: • Don’t drag it out. Be clear. End it for good. • Don’t keep calling your ex just to make sure he/she is okay. • Do you need to take precautions? Change locks? Get help leaving safely? • Tell friends and family. Ask them for support. • Find something nice (and positive) to do for yourself if you are feeling down. Realize your breakup can be hard on your child. • Most children want a relationship with both parents. • Allow your child to talk about feelings of sadness and loss—even if you hate your ex. • Permit your ex to stay in touch with your child. Don’t interfere with his/her relationship with their child. • Regular contact is important for your child as long as his/her presence isn’t dangerous. • Do not badmouth your ex in front of your child—even if you think he/she deserves it. It just hurts your child and makes your child feel bad. • Don’t think just anyone can substitute for the other parent, not even a stepparent. Don’t hop quickly into a new relationship. • Focus on being the best parent you can be. • Complete school seek employment. • Learn communication skills to help all your relationships, especially with your ex in co-parenting.* • Take a break from relationships—give yourself time. Work on building yourself up. • Next time, don’t slide, but decide. Use the relationship smarts you learn in this program! • It takes time (often a long time) for a relationship to develop between a child and stepparent. • Extended family and mentors can help support children if you are parenting solo. *Note: You will learn some terrific communication skills in this program to help with co-parenting.