Copyright 2025 Marline E. Pearson
102 • LESSON 6
❖ It’s not just a guys’ issue, as some think. Violence can happen in all types of relationships.
❖ We’re going to examine types of physical violence in relationships. Keep in mind that all types are harmful,
and all types can be very dangerous. Always keep that in focus.
❖ (PP) This is the most common form of partner violence.5
❖ Dating violence is most commonly (but not always) the result of getting into
arguments and not having the skills to handle strong emotions and argue safely.
❖ Then the argument spills over into slapping, pushing, shoving, hitting, and
throwing things.
❖ We’ll call these, “Arguments that get physical.”* They are unhealthy and unsafe. Never downplay them,
even if they happen infrequently and even if they’re common with people around you.
• For some, arguments that get physical happen once in a lifetime for others, once in a while and others every
time they have a disagreement. They may not end up in the hospital, but such arguments take a serious toll
on emotional and physical health and harm children. And, even if it only happens once, it could be lethal.
• Consider the size and strength of a person. Don’t downplay it for anyone—anyone can hurt someone
smaller—and any aggressive action could be unintentionally lethal.
❖ The bottom line is any disrespectful or aggressive behavior needs action. It’s not a sign of a
healthy relationship.
• Verbal abuse also needs to be taken seriously. A pattern of nasty name-calling, shaming, and
bullying takes a psychological toll and can destroy a person’s sense of self-worth.
• It’s important to stop the behavior before it becomes a pattern or gets worse.
*Instructor Note: Research literature refers to this as situational couple violence.6
(PP) What Can Help?
❖ Communication and conflict-management skills can help people who
have trouble handling their emotions and arguments safely.
• Mastering the Time Out Skill can help you put the brakes on, back
off, and cool down before arguments get out of control.
Arguments that Get Physical
102 • LESSON 6
❖ It’s not just a guys’ issue, as some think. Violence can happen in all types of relationships.
❖ We’re going to examine types of physical violence in relationships. Keep in mind that all types are harmful,
and all types can be very dangerous. Always keep that in focus.
❖ (PP) This is the most common form of partner violence.5
❖ Dating violence is most commonly (but not always) the result of getting into
arguments and not having the skills to handle strong emotions and argue safely.
❖ Then the argument spills over into slapping, pushing, shoving, hitting, and
throwing things.
❖ We’ll call these, “Arguments that get physical.”* They are unhealthy and unsafe. Never downplay them,
even if they happen infrequently and even if they’re common with people around you.
• For some, arguments that get physical happen once in a lifetime for others, once in a while and others every
time they have a disagreement. They may not end up in the hospital, but such arguments take a serious toll
on emotional and physical health and harm children. And, even if it only happens once, it could be lethal.
• Consider the size and strength of a person. Don’t downplay it for anyone—anyone can hurt someone
smaller—and any aggressive action could be unintentionally lethal.
❖ The bottom line is any disrespectful or aggressive behavior needs action. It’s not a sign of a
healthy relationship.
• Verbal abuse also needs to be taken seriously. A pattern of nasty name-calling, shaming, and
bullying takes a psychological toll and can destroy a person’s sense of self-worth.
• It’s important to stop the behavior before it becomes a pattern or gets worse.
*Instructor Note: Research literature refers to this as situational couple violence.6
(PP) What Can Help?
❖ Communication and conflict-management skills can help people who
have trouble handling their emotions and arguments safely.
• Mastering the Time Out Skill can help you put the brakes on, back
off, and cool down before arguments get out of control.
Arguments that Get Physical
