i
Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Table of Contents
Introduction to Relationship Smarts PLUS. ................iii
Instructor Tips. ...........................................................viii
Lesson 1: Who Am I and Where Am I Going?.......1
• Possible Selves Tree
• My Friends and My Future
• Being Yourself: Dealing with Pressure Situations
Lesson 2: Maturity and What I Value....................19
• Four Dimensions of Maturity
• Maturity—Where Are You?
• Clarifying Values
• What’s Important to Me?
Lesson 3: Attractions and Infatuation. ..................35
• Test Your Love Smarts
• Relationship Pyramid
• The Chemistry of Attraction
Lesson 4: Principles of Smart Relationships. ......55
• Smart or Not-So-Smart?
• Seven Principles of Smart Relationships
• Seven Questions to Ask
• Three Sides of Love
Lesson 5: Is It a Healthy Relationship?.................73
• How Can You Tell?
• Unmet Needs and Unhealthy Relationships
• Having Fun
• Tips for Teens
Lesson 6: Breaking Up and Dating Violence. ......89
• Breaking Up
• Early Warnings and Red Flags
• Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs
of Danger
• Sexual Assault
• Draw the Line of Respect
• Sex Trafficking—Prevention
Lesson 7: Decide, Don’t Slide! Pathways to
Success..................................................................123
• Sliding vs. Deciding and Personal Development
• Sliding vs. Deciding and Relationships
• A Low-Risk Deciding Approach
• Making Decisions
• Pathways and Sequences Towards Success
Lesson 8: Communication and Healthy
Relationships.......................................................153
• Communication Patterns Learned in Family
• Patterns that Harm Relationships
• Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs
• The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking
is Difficult
Lesson 9: Communication Challenges and
More Skills..........................................................177
• Complain and Raise Issues Effectively
• Hidden Issues Under Arguments
• A Problem-Solving Model
• Taking Care of Relationships
• A Brief Review
Lesson 10: Sexual Decision-Making....................197
• Let’s Talk About Sex
• What is Intimacy, Actually?
• Am I Ready?
• Risks of Sliding—Benefits of Deciding
• Set Your Personal Line &Getting On the Same Page
Lesson 11: Pregnancy, STIs and HIV...................229
• Test Your Sex Smarts
• STIs and HIV Are for Real
• Alcohol and Drugs—Increasing the Risks
• My Personal Plan
• Pressure Situations, Refusal Skills, &Exit Strategies
Lesson 12: Unintended Pregnancy Through
the Eyes of a Child.............................................259
• Child Looking for a Family
• What about Fathers?
• Child Speak—Brighter Futures
Lesson 13: Teens, Technology, and Social Media...291
• Constantly Connected—For Better and Worse
• Relationships in the Digital World
• Pornography—Informed Decision-Making
• Cyberbullying
• Designing a Personal Policy
• Planning for Success
About the Author........................................................335
Acknowledgements. ....................................................336
Colored Activity Cards
Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Table of Contents
Introduction to Relationship Smarts PLUS. ................iii
Instructor Tips. ...........................................................viii
Lesson 1: Who Am I and Where Am I Going?.......1
• Possible Selves Tree
• My Friends and My Future
• Being Yourself: Dealing with Pressure Situations
Lesson 2: Maturity and What I Value....................19
• Four Dimensions of Maturity
• Maturity—Where Are You?
• Clarifying Values
• What’s Important to Me?
Lesson 3: Attractions and Infatuation. ..................35
• Test Your Love Smarts
• Relationship Pyramid
• The Chemistry of Attraction
Lesson 4: Principles of Smart Relationships. ......55
• Smart or Not-So-Smart?
• Seven Principles of Smart Relationships
• Seven Questions to Ask
• Three Sides of Love
Lesson 5: Is It a Healthy Relationship?.................73
• How Can You Tell?
• Unmet Needs and Unhealthy Relationships
• Having Fun
• Tips for Teens
Lesson 6: Breaking Up and Dating Violence. ......89
• Breaking Up
• Early Warnings and Red Flags
• Violence: Why it Happens, What Helps, Signs
of Danger
• Sexual Assault
• Draw the Line of Respect
• Sex Trafficking—Prevention
Lesson 7: Decide, Don’t Slide! Pathways to
Success..................................................................123
• Sliding vs. Deciding and Personal Development
• Sliding vs. Deciding and Relationships
• A Low-Risk Deciding Approach
• Making Decisions
• Pathways and Sequences Towards Success
Lesson 8: Communication and Healthy
Relationships.......................................................153
• Communication Patterns Learned in Family
• Patterns that Harm Relationships
• Angry Brains and the Power of Time Outs
• The Speaker Listener Technique—When Talking
is Difficult
Lesson 9: Communication Challenges and
More Skills..........................................................177
• Complain and Raise Issues Effectively
• Hidden Issues Under Arguments
• A Problem-Solving Model
• Taking Care of Relationships
• A Brief Review
Lesson 10: Sexual Decision-Making....................197
• Let’s Talk About Sex
• What is Intimacy, Actually?
• Am I Ready?
• Risks of Sliding—Benefits of Deciding
• Set Your Personal Line &Getting On the Same Page
Lesson 11: Pregnancy, STIs and HIV...................229
• Test Your Sex Smarts
• STIs and HIV Are for Real
• Alcohol and Drugs—Increasing the Risks
• My Personal Plan
• Pressure Situations, Refusal Skills, &Exit Strategies
Lesson 12: Unintended Pregnancy Through
the Eyes of a Child.............................................259
• Child Looking for a Family
• What about Fathers?
• Child Speak—Brighter Futures
Lesson 13: Teens, Technology, and Social Media...291
• Constantly Connected—For Better and Worse
• Relationships in the Digital World
• Pornography—Informed Decision-Making
• Cyberbullying
• Designing a Personal Policy
• Planning for Success
About the Author........................................................335
Acknowledgements. ....................................................336
Colored Activity Cards