LESSON 5 • 87
Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Healthy or Unhealthy Relationships
Is It Conditional? You worry about not being good enough. This person makes you feel
little. You feel like you have to be or look a certain way in order to keep their attention or love.
You worry a lot about being dumped. You can’t be the real you. You have to wear a mask. There
is little trust or security.
Controlling or Disrespectful? One person needs to be the “boss.” They ridicule the words
and actions of the other and show little interest in their feelings. The controlled person worries
about upsetting their partner or friend and often avoids saying or doing things. The controller
does not support their friend or partner, and in fact, often tries to hold them back. One or both
feels they are entitled to express anger in any way they choose.
Mostly about Status, Sex, or Material Stuff? This relationship is either based almost
exclusively on sex, status, or the material things one gets out of the relationship. Without one
or more of these elements, there would not be much there. There is not a lot of fun or deeper
getting-to-know-each-other.
Unconditional? You both feel appreciated for who you really are. You don’t have to pretend
or play games. You do not have to be perfect. You can tell each other about behaviors in each
other that you don’t like. You support each other in making changes that you each decide to
work on. You each show you genuinely care about the other.
Equal, Respectful, and Supportive? Both treat each other well. Neither dominates or
consistently gives in. Both feel respected. Each feels their thoughts, feelings, and needs are
important to the other. They know differences and disagreements are inevitable in relationships
and do not put each other down when these occur. Both feel encouraged by the other to
develop and better themselves.
Attraction on Many Levels? This couple has chemistry, but they also enjoy talking and
getting to know each other. They have fun doing things based on shared interests and are open
to trying new activities that the other person values. They balance time together, apart, and with
friends. This relationship is based on a lot more than looks, status, or material things.
Parent or Trusted Adult: Read the above and offer your reactions and ideas on what makes a
healthy relationship and/or what signals an unhealthy relationship:
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RESOURCE 5d •
Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Healthy or Unhealthy Relationships
Is It Conditional? You worry about not being good enough. This person makes you feel
little. You feel like you have to be or look a certain way in order to keep their attention or love.
You worry a lot about being dumped. You can’t be the real you. You have to wear a mask. There
is little trust or security.
Controlling or Disrespectful? One person needs to be the “boss.” They ridicule the words
and actions of the other and show little interest in their feelings. The controlled person worries
about upsetting their partner or friend and often avoids saying or doing things. The controller
does not support their friend or partner, and in fact, often tries to hold them back. One or both
feels they are entitled to express anger in any way they choose.
Mostly about Status, Sex, or Material Stuff? This relationship is either based almost
exclusively on sex, status, or the material things one gets out of the relationship. Without one
or more of these elements, there would not be much there. There is not a lot of fun or deeper
getting-to-know-each-other.
Unconditional? You both feel appreciated for who you really are. You don’t have to pretend
or play games. You do not have to be perfect. You can tell each other about behaviors in each
other that you don’t like. You support each other in making changes that you each decide to
work on. You each show you genuinely care about the other.
Equal, Respectful, and Supportive? Both treat each other well. Neither dominates or
consistently gives in. Both feel respected. Each feels their thoughts, feelings, and needs are
important to the other. They know differences and disagreements are inevitable in relationships
and do not put each other down when these occur. Both feel encouraged by the other to
develop and better themselves.
Attraction on Many Levels? This couple has chemistry, but they also enjoy talking and
getting to know each other. They have fun doing things based on shared interests and are open
to trying new activities that the other person values. They balance time together, apart, and with
friends. This relationship is based on a lot more than looks, status, or material things.
Parent or Trusted Adult: Read the above and offer your reactions and ideas on what makes a
healthy relationship and/or what signals an unhealthy relationship:
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RESOURCE 5d •
