Lesson 6 117 Copyright 2018 Marline E. Pearson event, such as their birthday, a game, performance, or the start of the school or workday. A good time is a Saturday or Friday after school or work. This timing will give you both time to start getting over it and to talk to supportive people. Be sure to tell the person yourself. Caution: If you think the person may become violent, break up in a safe place. Get help from a caring adult to be present. Seek support and advice from the local domestic violence group to develop a safety plan if you are afraid of your ex. 3. Make a clean break: Don’t put it off. Spell it out clearly. Be honest and direct, but not cruel. Say, “I want to break up. This relationship is over.” Or, “I do not have the same feelings anymore.” Do not string someone along. And, remember you do not have to argue or convince the person. Your feelings are your own. 4. Have a method to avoid cruelty: Include in your conversation what you like and appreciate about the other person. But don’t give false hope or mixed messages about your decision. 5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm, or even to kill, him or herself if you break up, you must reach out for help. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can and should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is why you must reach out to your parents, his or her parents, a school counselor, or another caring adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is immediate danger, call 911. After a breakup, it is important to have a reality check. Most people will have heartbreaks. Very few people avoid experiencing a breakup at some point, either as a teenager or later in life. This is an important section. Some teens go through a serious emotional spiral down—leading to depression and even suicide—after a breakup. Point out that it is natural to feel strongly: ❖ Go ahead and cry. Crying is a great way to release your strong emotions. ❖ It’s normal to feel miserable when someone has dumped you. Moving Ahead After a Breakup