Lesson 6: RESOURCE 6D 121 Copyright 2018 Marline E. Pearson 1. Talk to a trusted and wise person: Discuss the reasons the relationship is not working. Make sure this person won’t tell everyone, but will keep your conversation private. Make sure this person won’t encourage drama or chasing after him or her in a desperate way. Tell friends and family when you’re ending it. 2. Pick a time and place: Pick a private place. You don’t want to do it around his or her friends. The person may become emotional—perhaps cry, be angry, or want to talk. Give him or her the respect that privacy provides. Don’t tell the person right before a big event, such as their birthday, a game or performance, or the start of the school or workday. And, be sure to tell the person yourself. CAUTION: If you think the person may become violent, break up in a safe place. Have a caring adult present with you. Seek support and advice from the local domestic violence group to develop a safety plan if you are afraid of your ex. 3. Make a clean break: Don’t put it off. Spell it out clearly. Be honest and direct, but not cruel. Say, “I want to break up. This relationship is over.” Or, “I do not have the same feelings anymore.” Do not string someone along. 4. Have a method to avoid cruelty: Include in your conversation what you like and appreciate about the other person. But don’t give false hope or mixed messages about your decision. 5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm, or even to kill, him or herself if you break up, you must reach out for help. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry but you can and should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is why you must reach out to your parents, his or her parents, a school counselor, or another caring adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is immediate danger, call 911. Tell your teen which of these tips might have been helpful to you or a friend when you were a teenager. Signature: ________________________________ Breaking Up Tips