Lesson 6 88 Copyright 2020 Marline E. Pearson Be clear and be honest. Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Don’t give a mixed message. Say something like, ”I want to break up. I don’t have the same feelings anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the person. Your feelings are your feelings. 4. Avoid cruelty. Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate. 5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm or even to kill themselves if you break up, you must reach out for help. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can and should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is why you must reach out to your parents, their family, a school counselor, or another caring adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is immediate danger, call 911. Note: There is a handout of these points (Resource 6d, Breaking Up Tips, pg. 121 in the LN SRA 3.0 Manual) which will be used for the TAC. Instructor Note: This section is important. Some youth do a serious, emotional spiral down—even suicide—around a break up. ❖ After a breakup, it’s important to do a reality check. Most people will have heartbreaks. Very few people get through life without either being a heartbreaker or heartbroken. It is natural to have strong feelings—to feel miserable. ❖ (PP) Let’s go over this advice: 1. Don’t blame yourself. There are lots of reasons why relationships end. Make a list of your positive qualities. Make a list of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Write down what you can learn from this relationship. 2. Face reality—it’s over. Do not be obsessed with winning this person back. You can’t force a relationship. Surviving a Breakup