Lesson 6 88
Copyright 2020 Marline E. Pearson
Be clear and be honest. Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Don’t give
a mixed message. Say something like, ”I want to break up. I don’t have the same feelings
anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the person. Your feelings are
your feelings.
4. Avoid cruelty. Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate.
5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm or even to kill themselves if you break up, you must
reach out for help. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can and
should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible
and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is why you must reach out to your
parents, their family, a school counselor, or another caring adult for help in handling this. The
national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is immediate danger, call 911.
Note: There is a handout of these points (Resource 6d, Breaking Up Tips, pg. 121 in the
LN SRA 3.0 Manual) which will be used for the TAC.
Instructor Note: This section is important. Some youth do a serious, emotional spiral
down—even suicide—around a break up.
❖ After a breakup, it’s important to do a reality check. Most people will have heartbreaks. Very
few people get through life without either being a heartbreaker or heartbroken. It is natural
to have strong feelings—to feel miserable.
❖ (PP) Let’s go over this advice:
1. Don’t blame yourself. There are lots of reasons why
relationships end. Make a list of your positive qualities. Make
a list of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Write down
what you can learn from this relationship.
2. Face reality—it’s over. Do not be obsessed with winning this
person back. You can’t force a relationship.
Surviving a Breakup
Copyright 2020 Marline E. Pearson
Be clear and be honest. Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Don’t give
a mixed message. Say something like, ”I want to break up. I don’t have the same feelings
anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the person. Your feelings are
your feelings.
4. Avoid cruelty. Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate.
5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm or even to kill themselves if you break up, you must
reach out for help. Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can and
should still end things. Even though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible
and not break up, this threat has to be taken seriously. This is why you must reach out to your
parents, their family, a school counselor, or another caring adult for help in handling this. The
national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is immediate danger, call 911.
Note: There is a handout of these points (Resource 6d, Breaking Up Tips, pg. 121 in the
LN SRA 3.0 Manual) which will be used for the TAC.
Instructor Note: This section is important. Some youth do a serious, emotional spiral
down—even suicide—around a break up.
❖ After a breakup, it’s important to do a reality check. Most people will have heartbreaks. Very
few people get through life without either being a heartbreaker or heartbroken. It is natural
to have strong feelings—to feel miserable.
❖ (PP) Let’s go over this advice:
1. Don’t blame yourself. There are lots of reasons why
relationships end. Make a list of your positive qualities. Make
a list of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Write down
what you can learn from this relationship.
2. Face reality—it’s over. Do not be obsessed with winning this
person back. You can’t force a relationship.
Surviving a Breakup
