Lesson 11 Code of Honor &Asking for Help
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5. Fear That People Will Think Less of Me or Reject Me: We sometimes worry that asking for help will
make others judge us or turn us away, especially if we’ve had bad experiences in the past.
Strategy: A “no” in the past doesn’t mean you’ll always get a “no.” Try asking someone else who is
supportive or has faced similar challenges. Many people do want to help.
6. Fear That Asking for Help Will Make Things Worse: Some worry that reaching out will lead to criticism,
ridicule, or added stress.
Strategy: Think carefully before you ask. If it feels risky, choose someone trustworthy and kind. The right
person can make a big difference.
7. Belief That You Should Handle Things on Your Own: Being independent is good, but trying to do
everything alone can lead to stress and burnout. Sometimes people think no one can help or don’t realize
resources exist.
Strategy: Remember that teamwork often brings better solutions. Build a support network—if one person
can’t help, they may connect you to someone who can.
8. Ask: Is there anything you think we haven’t mentioned yet?
Rank Your Fears
Now it’s your turn to think about why you might not ask for help when needed. In your journal on page 49, go
through the Rank Your Fears list and rank them from the least scary (1) to the most scary (7). You can also add
other fears to the list.
(Optional) “As your instructor, my top fear when I ask for help is ________.”
Ask: Which fear did you rank the highest today? Hold up the number of fingers that matches your top fear.
Now, which fear did you rank the lowest? Hold up the number of fingers that matches the fear you were least
concerned about.
Fear is important in our decision-making, but fear can make us either too afraid or too careless in different
situations. That’s why it’s important to take a moment to practice one of your new skills, then think about how you
can use fear to help move you forward. We need fear to keep us safe. Don’t let fear stop you from getting the help
you need to overcome your challenges.
Instructor Note: Lead the class in a Reboot Sigh.
Asking for Help: Combining Your Road Map with Your Support Map
Finding the right person to meet your needs is essential. In moments of need, it’s easy to choose the first person
available or feel obligated to accept help from anyone. However, selecting the wrong person can sometimes create
more challenges than solutions.
Here are four tips you may want to consider using as you ask for help.
1. Be selective: Pick the right helper—the person with the skills or experience you need.
2. Be specific: Say exactly what you need (and when). Clear asks get better help.
3. Reframe asking: Think teamwork, not burden. Many people feel good about helping.
4. Find your supporters: Check your Support Map, use the Road Map Support System Questions, and look for
people who’ve faced similar challenges.
In life, we can combine our Road Map for Life and our Support Map. This helps us create a strong support network
for living with purpose. It’s hard to achieve your goals without help from others. Here’s an example of how it works:
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5. Fear That People Will Think Less of Me or Reject Me: We sometimes worry that asking for help will
make others judge us or turn us away, especially if we’ve had bad experiences in the past.
Strategy: A “no” in the past doesn’t mean you’ll always get a “no.” Try asking someone else who is
supportive or has faced similar challenges. Many people do want to help.
6. Fear That Asking for Help Will Make Things Worse: Some worry that reaching out will lead to criticism,
ridicule, or added stress.
Strategy: Think carefully before you ask. If it feels risky, choose someone trustworthy and kind. The right
person can make a big difference.
7. Belief That You Should Handle Things on Your Own: Being independent is good, but trying to do
everything alone can lead to stress and burnout. Sometimes people think no one can help or don’t realize
resources exist.
Strategy: Remember that teamwork often brings better solutions. Build a support network—if one person
can’t help, they may connect you to someone who can.
8. Ask: Is there anything you think we haven’t mentioned yet?
Rank Your Fears
Now it’s your turn to think about why you might not ask for help when needed. In your journal on page 49, go
through the Rank Your Fears list and rank them from the least scary (1) to the most scary (7). You can also add
other fears to the list.
(Optional) “As your instructor, my top fear when I ask for help is ________.”
Ask: Which fear did you rank the highest today? Hold up the number of fingers that matches your top fear.
Now, which fear did you rank the lowest? Hold up the number of fingers that matches the fear you were least
concerned about.
Fear is important in our decision-making, but fear can make us either too afraid or too careless in different
situations. That’s why it’s important to take a moment to practice one of your new skills, then think about how you
can use fear to help move you forward. We need fear to keep us safe. Don’t let fear stop you from getting the help
you need to overcome your challenges.
Instructor Note: Lead the class in a Reboot Sigh.
Asking for Help: Combining Your Road Map with Your Support Map
Finding the right person to meet your needs is essential. In moments of need, it’s easy to choose the first person
available or feel obligated to accept help from anyone. However, selecting the wrong person can sometimes create
more challenges than solutions.
Here are four tips you may want to consider using as you ask for help.
1. Be selective: Pick the right helper—the person with the skills or experience you need.
2. Be specific: Say exactly what you need (and when). Clear asks get better help.
3. Reframe asking: Think teamwork, not burden. Many people feel good about helping.
4. Find your supporters: Check your Support Map, use the Road Map Support System Questions, and look for
people who’ve faced similar challenges.
In life, we can combine our Road Map for Life and our Support Map. This helps us create a strong support network
for living with purpose. It’s hard to achieve your goals without help from others. Here’s an example of how it works:
