Lesson 1 Self-Soothing
12
There is a reason why it is so hard for us to control these thoughts and the feelings that come with them. When you
use self-talk to try to control these thoughts, you’re using English, or your primary language. The sad news is, your
nervous system does not speak English or any other language. The nervous system of the body is non-verbal.
It neither speaks nor understands language. The nervous system operates by sending signs and sensations to the
brain centers either with conscious or unconscious awareness. The brain, then, interprets these signals, signs, and
sensations and assigns words and meaning to the experience.
How can we communicate with our nervous system so that we can be calmer?
Since the nervous system communicates in signs and sensations, for a person to communicate and control this
system, signs and symbolic exercises are necessary. Sitting quietly while watching the body breathing is one
such method of communicating with the nervous system. Peripheral Vision is an additional way. These exercises
message the nervous system, telling it to reduce its reactivity and return to a more comfortable state. Persons who
practice this approach find that they increase control of moments of emotional reactivity and that their distress
tolerance increases.
Exercises that Teach us to Wait and Calm Down Rather than React
Remember when we learned about the marshmallow research? We learned that waiting is important. By doing
these exercises, we can learn how to wait. The exercises in Mind Matters are designed for daily practice. Daily
practice gradually changes the structure of the brain and increases emotional control. This ability allows us to
become resilient.
The Importance of Practice
Which exercises seemed to work for you? Some exercises will work better than others and some will work better with
additional practice.
We are starting a new habit of mind. Learning how to self-sooth and reduce reactivity will take time. This is the
beginning of how to develop a sense of peace in your life. Being able to stay calm and in control when facing a
challenge is one of the key factors in being able to bounce back from difficult experiences—resilience.
If we do these exercises every day throughout this program, we will experience some changes. Over time, we
will learn how to create a sense of peace and calm. This does not happen quickly or easily, but it can “double your
number of marshmallows,” which we know leads to living the life we desire.
We recommend trying these methods to discover which one works best for you, both in and outside of class.
The great news is that these exercises took only approximately four minutes or, in some cases, 10 seconds! Try the
breath work four times a day. You can use the peripheral vision every ten to fifteen minutes for ten seconds if you want!
The Participant Journal will assist you with learning and practicing Mind Matters skills. Your journal is
confidential and will not be read by anybody, including myself. I will keep it in a safe place for you between sessions
and you will get it at the end of the program. The journal is a valuable resource for you to continue practicing Mind
Matters skills after this program ends.
12
There is a reason why it is so hard for us to control these thoughts and the feelings that come with them. When you
use self-talk to try to control these thoughts, you’re using English, or your primary language. The sad news is, your
nervous system does not speak English or any other language. The nervous system of the body is non-verbal.
It neither speaks nor understands language. The nervous system operates by sending signs and sensations to the
brain centers either with conscious or unconscious awareness. The brain, then, interprets these signals, signs, and
sensations and assigns words and meaning to the experience.
How can we communicate with our nervous system so that we can be calmer?
Since the nervous system communicates in signs and sensations, for a person to communicate and control this
system, signs and symbolic exercises are necessary. Sitting quietly while watching the body breathing is one
such method of communicating with the nervous system. Peripheral Vision is an additional way. These exercises
message the nervous system, telling it to reduce its reactivity and return to a more comfortable state. Persons who
practice this approach find that they increase control of moments of emotional reactivity and that their distress
tolerance increases.
Exercises that Teach us to Wait and Calm Down Rather than React
Remember when we learned about the marshmallow research? We learned that waiting is important. By doing
these exercises, we can learn how to wait. The exercises in Mind Matters are designed for daily practice. Daily
practice gradually changes the structure of the brain and increases emotional control. This ability allows us to
become resilient.
The Importance of Practice
Which exercises seemed to work for you? Some exercises will work better than others and some will work better with
additional practice.
We are starting a new habit of mind. Learning how to self-sooth and reduce reactivity will take time. This is the
beginning of how to develop a sense of peace in your life. Being able to stay calm and in control when facing a
challenge is one of the key factors in being able to bounce back from difficult experiences—resilience.
If we do these exercises every day throughout this program, we will experience some changes. Over time, we
will learn how to create a sense of peace and calm. This does not happen quickly or easily, but it can “double your
number of marshmallows,” which we know leads to living the life we desire.
We recommend trying these methods to discover which one works best for you, both in and outside of class.
The great news is that these exercises took only approximately four minutes or, in some cases, 10 seconds! Try the
breath work four times a day. You can use the peripheral vision every ten to fifteen minutes for ten seconds if you want!
The Participant Journal will assist you with learning and practicing Mind Matters skills. Your journal is
confidential and will not be read by anybody, including myself. I will keep it in a safe place for you between sessions
and you will get it at the end of the program. The journal is a valuable resource for you to continue practicing Mind
Matters skills after this program ends.
