Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Just ignore the person in the hope they’ll get the message. (Ghosting)
Be seen with another person or worse, go out with their best friend.
Do things to make the person break up with you.
Next, ask the group if the following statement is a good thing to say if someone wants to break up:
We can still hang with each other as friends.
After you hear their responses, ask if that statement might merely be a cop-out or putting off the
inevitable. Plus, does it give false hope to the one who is being dumped?
So many people break up in these ways, yet we know it feels awful to the person on the receiving end.
Let’s now examine some tips on breaking up because there are better and worse ways to do it.
(PP) Offer these breakup tips to the group.
1. Talk to an adult you trust: Go over the reasons it isn’t working. Don’t
talk about it with friends that encourage drama or revenge. And if there are
any concerns about your safety and how the person will react, ask a parent or
trusted adult to assist you.
2. Pick a time and a private place and tell the person yourself: Don’t do it
around their friends. Have the respect to do it face to face. But don’t tell them right before a big event like a test,
a game, a cultural event where they’re performing, a birthday, or the start of the school day. A good time is on a
Friday after school or a Saturday. You will both have time to start getting over it and talk to supportive friends
and adults before school begins again. If you are worried whatsoever about your safety, do not pick a private
place. Get help from a caring adult.
3. Make a clean break: Don’t beat around the bush or make empty promises. Be honest and direct, but
not cruel. Do not give a mixed message. Say: “I want to break up.” Or “I do not have the same feelings
anymore.” Remember, you do not have to argue or convince the person. Your feelings are your feelings.
4. Avoid cruelty: Mention something you appreciated about them, if appropriate.
5. Caution: If a person threatens to harm, or even kill, themself if you break up, you must reach out for help.
Their threat may make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can and should still end things. Even
though this is emotional blackmail to make you feel responsible and not break up, this threat has to be taken
seriously. This is why you must reach out to parents—yours and theirs, a school counselor, or another
caring adult for help in handling this. The national suicide crisis hotline is 1-800-273-8255. If there is
immediate danger, call 911.
Breakup Tips
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