Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Instructor note: This section is important. Some youth experience serious emotional distress and even
suicidal thoughts or attempts around a breakup.
Offer these words of wisdom to survive a breakup when you are the one being dumped:
First, it’s important to have a reality check—most people will have heartbreaks. Very few people have
the luck of not experiencing it at some point. Perhaps most important in handling a broken heart are the
messages you give yourself.
It is natural to feel really hurt. Go ahead and cry. Crying is a great way to get out your emotions. It’s
normal to feel miserable when someone you like breaks up with you.
It is important to find a wise person you can trust to talk to, like a parent, an aunt, an older sibling or
cousin. Pick a good shoulder to lean on—not a friend who encourages drama or revenge.
Offer teens these basic tips for dealing with a broken heart and disappointment—surviving a breakup.
It’s important. Some teens go through a serious emotional spiral down—depression and even
suicide—after a breakup. (PP)
Face reality, and don’t be obsessed with winning this person back. You can’t
force a relationship. It sacrifices your dignity to beg for a relationship, act
desperate, or try to chase the person. And you deserve to be in a relationship
with someone who wants to be with you and likes you for who you are.
Don’t blame yourself. There are lots and lots of reasons why
relationships end. Make a list of your positive qualities. Work to make the
changes you want. Ultimately, you want a relationship with someone who admires you, recognizes your
qualities, is as crazy about you as you are about them, and accepts you as you truly are. Also, make a list
of what you want in a partner. What qualities are you looking for, and what’s important? What can you
learn from this relationship?
Stay away from the revenge game. Forget about getting even or spreading rumors. It might be
tempting, but it’s immature and it can keep you from moving on after a breakup.
Get perspective. Most people go through more than one romance. This is a normal part of life. From a
relationship that ends, you can grow wiser and more insightful about yourself, what you are looking for,
and how relationships should be. Talking with a caring adult can give you some needed perspective.
Beware of rebounding. Don’t hop into another relationship right away to make your ex jealous or to
make yourself feel better. This is not a good idea at all. Give yourself time.
Surviving a Breakup
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