4 Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson 6. Kids in my family: l Were given responsibilities and were expected to make good choices. l Had no real responsibilities. 7. Our family: l Had a system of moral or spiritual beliefs that we shared. l Had no real set of convictions one way or another. 8. Trust and honesty: l Were important in my family. l Were not a big deal in my family. 9. People in my family: l Made sacrifices for each other we tried to show appreciation in many ways to each other. l Mostly just looked out for themselves. 10. In my family: l We could communicate openly and respectfully for the most part. Distribute l The communication was terrible—there were lots of nasty put-downs, negative interpretations, and constant yelling. 11.The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family: l Modeled healthy ways to deal with stress and problems. Sample l Did not deal well with stress or problems. 12. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family: l Acted in the same way(s) I would like to act if I marry—make a life commitment to someone. l Are very different than what I would want to be like if I marry—make a life commitment to someone. 13. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family: l Openly expressed love and affection (for example, they gave hugs, said “I love you,” did kind things for one another). l Did not openly express love and affection. 14. As a child, I felt: l Connected and cared for by my parents. We did enjoyable things together. l Distant and disconnected from my parents. We hardly did anything together. 15. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my home: l Nurtured and protected the children. l Neglected, badly treated, or abused the children. 16. Growing up: l My parent was more like my best friend than one I could look to for guidance. Sometimes it was me taking care of, or protecting, my parent. l My parent(s) gave me guidance and took care of my needs. If your relationship is safe and you two want a future together, consider sharing your responses so you can work toward the patterns you want for your lives. Do Not baggage from the past