Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
Decision #1: ____________________________
In order to make this decision, I would need…
l to talk to a school counselor to establish a plan to finish school (high school equivalency).
l to meet with a community college advisor to explore programs and career paths.
l to visit, apply, enroll, or re-enroll in college.
l to discover if we are compatible in ways that are important to us—interests, goals, ambition, and energy levels.
l to be together for 6 to 9 months—until the love chemicals settle and I’m seeing more clearly.
l to have a discussion about my sexual values, boundaries, and how I want to pace my involvement.
l to know my partner respects my sexual values.
l evidence partner is responsible—attends school, holds job, can handle money, is bettering self.
l to trust my partner to be faithful.
l to brainstorm ideas for having fun with my partner.
l to know my partner will take responsibility with me to prevent a pregnancy and/or STDs.
l to discuss the good and not-so-good baggage from our pasts.
l to meet each other’s families.
l to have a conversation about our relationship expectations and core values.
l to have an honest discussion about our level of commitment to each other.
l to be engaged or married.
l to be settled with a stable job, a place to live, and to be in a healthy marriage for at least a year.
l to know we are both willing to work on communication.
l my partner to complete anger management classes.
l to know my partner is drug-free or working a recovery program.
l to know if my partner has been abusive in past relationships.
l to talk to a health professional.
l to know if my partner would use a condom.
l to use/agree on a method of birth control.
l both of us to get tested for STDs.
l to feel respected.
l to feel emotionally and physically safe.
l to know if my partner will take a parenting workshop with me or watch or read parenting skills resources.
l to know my partner agrees on waiting for a second child until we’re more settled.
l to have a conversation about future plans for marriage.
l to attend a relationship or marriage skills workshop together.
How will gathering this information help me make a decision? And how
will making clear decisions help me have the life I would like?
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