41 Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Whether you have had sex or not, answering these questions now will help you have important conversations to know if you are on the same page. Both people should answer and share their responses before engaging—or continuing to engage—in sexual activity. 1. It is important for me to know this person well enough to trust they care as much about my feelings, intentions, and intimate experience as their own—to know that they’re not just using me for a hookup. Yes or No? ______________________________________. 2. When I begin (or continue) a sexual relationship, do I want it to mean we won’t be having sex with anyone else? Yes or No? ___________________________________________. 3. Does having sex mean I expect we are in a romantic relationship? Yes or No? _______. If not, what do I expect it to mean? __________________________________________. 4. I expect the sexual relationship to last (e.g., one night, a month, a year, a lifetime, etc.). ____________________________________________________________________. 5. I will be present, pay attention, and listen to my partner’s experiences, feelings, and expectations on an ongoing basis knowing they could change. Distribute I expect the same attention and respect from a partner. Sample Yes or No? ______________________________. 6. Before I have sex (or before the next time), I am willing to get tested for STDs /HIV and share the results with my partner. Yes or No? _________________________________. 7. Before engaging in sexual activity, I expect agreement on using condoms to decrease the chances of spreading STDs/HIV. Yes or No? ___________________________________. 8. Before engaging/continuing to engage in sexual activity, I will state explicitly what level or kind of physical intimacy I am okay participating in and expect my partner to respect that. Yes or No? _______________________________________________________. 9. I understand that engaging in sex requires ongoing consent, and it can be withdrawn at any moment. I will respect that and not pressure them to do more. Yes or No? ________. 10. If I have sex where a pregnancy is possible, we will share our answers to these questions: • I am ready to be a parent within the next year. Yes _______ No _______ • If the answer is no, the form of contraception I will use (or support my partner’s use) is ________________________________. According to the CDC, the effectiveness rate with typical usage is ___________________%. • If we get pregnant, I would want to: ___ Place the baby for adoption ___ Raise the child together ___ Raise the child by myself ___ Although abortion is illegal in many states, we should share our views before a decision is made to have sex. Getting on the Same Page Do Not getting on the same page