24 Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson Everyone knows someone who got caught up and involved in a disappointing or bad relationship. Perhaps somebody (maybe you) got deeply involved and then discovered after a while that you’re just not in sync or on the same page. Worse, you discover your partner cheats or has serious problems. Sometimes a person gives a lot of themself and then discovers the other person doesn’t give or feel the same. Why do people end up in relationships that don’t work? 1. One reason stands out. They slide quickly into romantic or sexual involvements before really getting to know the person they are attracted to. Sample Those love chemicals can cloud one’s vision. 2. They slide instead of making clear decisions based on knowledge of the other person and a sense of their own values and what they want in a relationship. What Sliding Can Cost You When people slide, they risk getting stuck someplace they never planned to be or saw coming. A person can find themself with someone they never really chose to be with. How? A person gets involved romantically, sexually, or moves in with a partner. Before they know it, they are on a path that becomes a familiar habit. It takes more effort to get up and do something different than to stay put, even if they sense that this is not really the relationship envisioned or wanted. And, if a pregnancy occurs, a person can end up linked to someone that they never really chose to be with for a long, long time. The Benefits of Deciding It’s safer and likely more fun and romantic to take it slow. Have fun, get to know someone, and make clear decisions based on real knowledge of a person. Deciding is most crucial when something that could change your whole life is at stake. You want to decide and not slide when it comes to transitions that can be life-altering like sex, pregnancy, having a child, living together, or getting married. But I’ve already been sliding… Every day is a day to stop sliding and start deciding. Think about what decisions and steps need to be made in your relationship now. What do you need to know or find out in order to make decisions or take steps? What might your partner need to do? What might you need to do? A deciding approach gives you the power to do things differently tomorrow or next time. Decide, Don’t Slide! Do Not Distribute decide, don’t slide!
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