4
Copyright 2025 Marline E. Pearson
6. Kids in my family:
l Were given responsibilities and were expected to make good choices.
l Had no real responsibilities.
7. Our family:
l Had a system of moral or spiritual beliefs that we shared.
l Had no real set of convictions one way or another.
8. Trust and honesty:
l Were important in my family.
l Were not a big deal in my family.
9. People in my family:
l Made sacrifices for each other we tried to show appreciation in many ways to each other.
l Mostly just looked out for themselves.
10. In my family:
l We could communicate openly and respectfully for the most part.
l The communication was terrible—there were lots of nasty put-downs, negative interpretations, and
constant yelling.
11.The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Modeled healthy ways to deal with stress and problems.
l Did not deal well with stress or problems.
12. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Acted in the same way(s) I would like to act if I marry—make a life commitment to someone.
l Are very different than what I would want to be like if I marry—make a life commitment to someone.
13. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Openly expressed love and affection (for example, they gave hugs, said “I love you,” did kind things for
one another).
l Did not openly express love and affection.
14. As a child, I felt:
l Connected and cared for by my parents. We did enjoyable things together.
l Distant and disconnected from my parents. We hardly did anything together.
15. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my home:
l Nurtured and protected the children.
l Neglected, badly treated, or abused the children.
16. Growing up:
l My parent was more like my best friend than one I could look to for guidance. Sometimes it was me
taking care of, or protecting, my parent.
l My parent(s) gave me guidance and took care of my needs.
If your relationship
is safe and you two want a future together,
consider sharing your
responses so you can
work toward the
patterns you want
for your lives.
baggage
from
the
past
Copyright 2025 Marline E. Pearson
6. Kids in my family:
l Were given responsibilities and were expected to make good choices.
l Had no real responsibilities.
7. Our family:
l Had a system of moral or spiritual beliefs that we shared.
l Had no real set of convictions one way or another.
8. Trust and honesty:
l Were important in my family.
l Were not a big deal in my family.
9. People in my family:
l Made sacrifices for each other we tried to show appreciation in many ways to each other.
l Mostly just looked out for themselves.
10. In my family:
l We could communicate openly and respectfully for the most part.
l The communication was terrible—there were lots of nasty put-downs, negative interpretations, and
constant yelling.
11.The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Modeled healthy ways to deal with stress and problems.
l Did not deal well with stress or problems.
12. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Acted in the same way(s) I would like to act if I marry—make a life commitment to someone.
l Are very different than what I would want to be like if I marry—make a life commitment to someone.
13. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my family:
l Openly expressed love and affection (for example, they gave hugs, said “I love you,” did kind things for
one another).
l Did not openly express love and affection.
14. As a child, I felt:
l Connected and cared for by my parents. We did enjoyable things together.
l Distant and disconnected from my parents. We hardly did anything together.
15. The parent(s)/adult(s) in my home:
l Nurtured and protected the children.
l Neglected, badly treated, or abused the children.
16. Growing up:
l My parent was more like my best friend than one I could look to for guidance. Sometimes it was me
taking care of, or protecting, my parent.
l My parent(s) gave me guidance and took care of my needs.
If your relationship
is safe and you two want a future together,
consider sharing your
responses so you can
work toward the
patterns you want
for your lives.
baggage
from
the
past
