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Copyright 2025 Marline E. Pearson
Safety Note: If you put an “X” on the controlling end
or are afraid in your relationship, talk to someone you
trust. Check out the LoveIsRespect.org website. Text
“loveis” to 22522. In Spanish also.
Describe 3 behaviors you would like to see in a relationship that would help make it
happy, healthy, and safe. (For example: Listen to me, show you care about what I say, be faithful to me)
1.
2.
3.
Does it feel like it is mostly about status,
sex, looks, or material things?
• My hunch is that without the sex, there would
not be much interest.
• I know deep down inside that I am in this
relationship because of the money or material
things my partner gives me.
• Because I'm with this person, I have status—
makes me look better to others.
Or, like the attractions and interests are
on many levels?
• I know it is more than my looks, body, or
money that my partner likes about me.
• We talk about lots of stuff and have similar
interests and values. We genuinely like each
other’s personalities and have fun together.
• We both want to do nice things for each other.
It does not feel like one person is doing all the
giving or all the work.
Does it feel controlling?
• My partner puts me down and shows little
interest in my opinions or feelings.
• My partner makes me feel stupid. I walk on
eggshells.
• My partner seems super jealous or checks up
on me 24/7. Fights get scary.
Or equal and supportive?
• I can share my feelings and opinions, and my
partner seems to care about them.
• My partner supports me in my goals. We
encourage each other to be better people.
• We’re friends. I feel respected by my partner.
is
it
a healthy
relationship?