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Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
1 Escalation
2 Put-downs/Invalidation
3 Withdrawal/Avoidance
4 Negative Interpretations
Everyone engages in the 4 Communication Danger Signs from time to time, but too much of them can
destroy relationships.
The good news is that you can learn skills to reduce these negative patterns—and to stop and exit out of
them when they happen.
• Take a Time Out when you are angry or riled up.
• Avoid "in-your-face" complaining. Use the WWA formula to complain (W=what they did,
W=when or where it happened, A=how it affected you).
• Start Gently, not harsh or nasty when you voice your complaint, so you can be heard.
• Use the Speaker Listener Technique when you come back after a Time Out or any time
you have a difficult or sensitive issue to talk about. It will help you to really hear each other.
• Follow the Problem-Solving Model to find solutions that stick.
• Look for deeper or Hidden Issues behind everyday events and arguments that push your
buttons.
• Give Daily Appreciations to those you care about.
These skills are essential for all kinds of relationships. And many couples who are serious about a future
together attend a relationship and marriage education program to learn these skills.
Poor Communication—
Relationship Wreckers
Adapted and used with permission from PREP for Individuals.
poor communication—relationship
wreckers
Copyright 2023 Marline E. Pearson
1 Escalation
2 Put-downs/Invalidation
3 Withdrawal/Avoidance
4 Negative Interpretations
Everyone engages in the 4 Communication Danger Signs from time to time, but too much of them can
destroy relationships.
The good news is that you can learn skills to reduce these negative patterns—and to stop and exit out of
them when they happen.
• Take a Time Out when you are angry or riled up.
• Avoid "in-your-face" complaining. Use the WWA formula to complain (W=what they did,
W=when or where it happened, A=how it affected you).
• Start Gently, not harsh or nasty when you voice your complaint, so you can be heard.
• Use the Speaker Listener Technique when you come back after a Time Out or any time
you have a difficult or sensitive issue to talk about. It will help you to really hear each other.
• Follow the Problem-Solving Model to find solutions that stick.
• Look for deeper or Hidden Issues behind everyday events and arguments that push your
buttons.
• Give Daily Appreciations to those you care about.
These skills are essential for all kinds of relationships. And many couples who are serious about a future
together attend a relationship and marriage education program to learn these skills.
Poor Communication—
Relationship Wreckers
Adapted and used with permission from PREP for Individuals.
poor communication—relationship
wreckers
